This is a genuine request for ideas on how to be effective in not following the "Velominati" rules. How to keep cyclists of all persuasions together and be accepting of others, from leadership to newbies.

The alternative:



we ride, we do what we want

I ride, I do what I want

and look how I want

How can we keep bunch riders together, have regular rides, and not slip into this elitist Velominati (it's not even a word)?

I am after tips, DO's and DONT's on how to keep a smile and not feed into the egos in the bunch. That's pretty much it.

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    Find a different group. – Daniel R Hicks Aug 16 '18 at 1:23
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    Take up Mountain Biking we hate those rules even more than you. – mattnz Aug 16 '18 at 3:49
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    This might be more suitable for interpersonal.se – ojs Aug 16 '18 at 5:29
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    The bulk of this "question" appears to be primarily a rant. Rant removed it's "I hang out with a-holes. How do I not hang out with a-holes?" and that doesn't seem like a a bicycling question, nor even one that is that interesting or difficult to answer ("You stop.") Do we need this? – Ross Aug 16 '18 at 12:48
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    I'm voting to close this post as off-topic because it is a rant, not a question. – David Richerby Aug 16 '18 at 13:07

I've heard once: if a person offers you a gift and you don't accept it - it remains the property of the other person. And it's the same with criticism. And thus, if you engage yourself into a discussion you most likely end up in a fight over the colour of your bar tape.

Assuming that you are not the only one hating the rules try not to get into the discussions. You can use some responses to the comments on your gear (socks, bike, etc.), I've sorted them out from the least offensive:

  • if it goes about the socks and such, go "laundry day, sorry, I'll do my best to match them next time"
  • remarks on how old/outdated your equipment is can be replied with "gets me going but I'd be glad to try yours if you say it's that great. I know what to upgrade."
  • general remarks can be replied with "don't worry, next time I'll go slower so I stay behind you and don't fall into your field of sight"

Whatever you say, don't engage into further discussion. Simply don't and stand your ground - you're there for the ride and not for the looks.

This will most likely introduce a split in your group to those who blindly follow Velominati rules and those who, like you, want to enjoy the ride. Only the time will tell if the division remains or dissolves.
Of course some basic rules apply concerning safety and correct gear (road bike).

And worst case scenario is that you become the only outsider. In such case this group wasn't meant for you.

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    Awesome tricks, and not just for cycling! "next time I'll go slower…" — truly having a sharp mind and equally sharp tongue feel great! – Grigory Rechistov Aug 16 '18 at 8:25

This is almost a question for https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/.

Any group of people has a spectrum of attitudes and social skills. Just ignore and don't engage with anyone in the group that you don't like, or who acts in a way you find objectionable. Hang out with the people you do like.

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Change the riding style. Either go to the mountain biking or touring/endurance riding.

The Rules do not apply to them: to MTB — because it originated from different historical background; to touring — because after two weeks of uninterrupted cycling nobody could possibly care how many hair you have and what color your clothes are, because everyone is covered with the same amount of (off)road dirt.

The touring is the most relaxed style in this regard because it is based on survival principles, and whatever allows you (and your group) to achieve the goal, is appropriate.

And if someone even dares to mention The Rules — just dismiss that unwise attempt: "But they are for roadies!"

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    Problem is - I AM A ROADIE! – Fandango68 Aug 16 '18 at 6:41
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    @Fandango68 no, you are not. You are a person who wants to ride a bike. "You are an X" is that type of predisposition indoctrinated into people (often by parents or mentors) that is the hardest to get rid of. "I am black so I must do like black people do". "You are a boy so you must not play with girls' dolls". But it is possible to change oneself once you understand that this "I am X" cannot define you, and it does not deny you other options. For example, you can have both MTB and road bikes and ride both of them. – Grigory Rechistov Aug 16 '18 at 6:46
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    @Fandango68 In any way, I suggest you trying touring first. It is closer to road biking in technical aspects, although unlike in philosophy. The longer the distance, the less it all matters. – Grigory Rechistov Aug 16 '18 at 6:47
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    The "Rules" don't apply to roadies, either. I don't think I've ever ridden with anyone who actually takes them seriously. No one ever really cared about what bike someone was riding (other than "dang, wish I could get a new DuraAce Di2 bike...") or whether or not someone's legs were shaved. Especially not group after group. – Andrew Henle Aug 16 '18 at 10:20
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    @AndrewHenle that's true, but they're a good description of a certain class of roadie and their attitudes. I wouldn't last 5 minutes with them (my road bike is a tourer for starters), and prefer to ride with the sort of people whose reaction to riding a good ride on a heavy bike is "well done" not "you should spend 6 months pay on a bike like mine". – Chris H Aug 16 '18 at 11:29

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