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There's this kid I've been riding with for quite some time that keeps borrowing my bike non-stop leaving me riding his broken bike. Not that I dislike him riding my bike or anything, is just that Everytime I lend him my bike he will be crunching gears uphill, skiddding and knocking on stuff carelessly and my bike will end up having problems, and when I told him my bike has a problem he will say it's not his fault and I end up using my money to fix it. He is riding a folding bike with everything loose and a mountain bike that is at his home that is broken, he is not even bothered to fix both of his bikes. Once, he asked to borrow my bike again and I say no, he looked like he is upset and a bit angry. Is there something I can say to avoid lending my bike to him?

P.s. is this question okay to be posted in this website? If not I'll delete it and I'll just keep lending my bike to him.

This is closed as a duplicate of https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/21719/how-can-i-avoid-borrowing-my-bike

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closed as off-topic by David Richerby, Argenti Apparatus, Criggie♦ May 11 at 22:23

  • This question does not appear to be about bicycles within the scope defined in the help center.
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • Don’t delete it, but it is probably best suited to a different stack exchange site. I’ll flag it and someone who knows best will decide what to do with it. If it gets moved to a different site then it can get answered, if not it can be closed (I think deleting questions and answers doesn’t reflect well on your reputation, so leave it be until someone confirms) – Swifty May 11 at 14:06
  • A simple word works wonders, it's: No! That should be enough. – Carel May 11 at 14:20
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    This is very much interpersonal.stackexchange material – ojs May 11 at 16:30
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    I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it is a question about interpersonal skills and the cycling aspect is purely incidental – David Richerby May 11 at 16:49
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    This was dual-posted already. I can't close as a dupe of a question on another part of SE, so just closing. – Criggie♦ May 11 at 22:23
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He probably doesn't feel very empowered to fix his own bikes, and they may have issues that are beyond his means to fix or get fixed for him. He may not really understand like you do that things need to be taken care of to work well, which is perhaps a reason why he's unduly rough on your bike.

It sounds like the allure of a bike in working order and despair over his own situation is causing him to act jealous and selfishly in turns.

As he's your friend, you might consider offering help in fixing his own bikes. Getting some support there may be what he needs to move forward from the habit he's in of leaning on you unfairly. And by learning what it takes to get and keep a bike working well, he may learn to be less unduly hard on them.

Remember you can always post here about whatever mechanical issues you encounter.

Also, I feel this question is reasonably within the bounds of 'bike culture' and is not out of place here.

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Good friendships have boundaries. In this case you need to set your bike as off limits. I'm sure he has stuff that he does not want you messing with.

In the nicest way possible tell your friend:

  • He's rough on bikes when he rides and you are not comfortable with him riding your bike.
  • When he takes your bike it leaves you stranded with a broken bike.
  • You'd like to help him fix up his bike so that he has something to ride.

It's not that he's a bad person, it's just where you are right now.

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This is probably not best handled as a bicycling problem, but for sake of completeness, within the bounds of the question literally asked there are a few technical possibilities.

  • If you are willing to buy compatible shoes and ride clipped in, you could put clipless pedals on the bike. It won't be impossible to ride with ordinary shoes but far less pleasant.

  • Gears that reverse the direction of the steering are a pretty much complete impediment to anyone else being able to ride your bike - the mind can maybe handle reversing the intention of turns, but not that the steering corrections for balance all end up reversed as well (someone locally has one in a collection of toys he lets people try). The downside is that once you adapt your balance reflexes to reversed steering, you probably won't be able to ride any normal bike, either - which would make the idea impractical for most.

Really though, you need to work on being willing to say "no" in situations where saying "yes" has uncomfortable consequences. Sometimes it is best not to give reasons, because reasons are just invitations to potential new arguments about those points, which detract from the overall message of "no". Similarly even something like the clipless pedals has some risk - your friend might decide that he likes telling himself he is overcoming a challenge by riding them without the right shoes (or maybe he starts insisting that you trade shoes, too!)

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